but tonight i am thankful. for tears cried over friends whose physical presence i miss. for those friends in the first place. the ones in california. the ones in illinois. the ones in china for the summer. i'm thankful for farmer's markets ripe with colors, smells and textures that remind me of the simple beauty of being alive. sunny afternoons that inspire me to ditch the school work for a couple hours and sit on a grassy hill to read and drink sparkling water with a bunch of central square hipsters doing the same thing. i'm thankful for the grace and courage to keep putting myself out there to meet new people and move forward into the unknown - even on days when it seems so scary that i want to crawl back into bed. i'm thankful for friends who read my blog and come alongside me as i walk through life. for friends who pray boldly for me when i can't seem to do it for myself. for my sister and the way we've both been trying to buy tickets to visit one another without the other one knowing. i'm thankful for leftover pasta. for big brothers and little brothers who love me and look out for me.
i'm just thankful. and it must be God because i can't figure out how this day - that started in tears and a whole lot of self-doubt and pity (to be perfectly honest) - turned into an evening filled with hope, gratitude, and overflowing joy. and i'm not even trying to overuse that phrase. i just don't know how else to describe it when God moves and all the emptiness and fear fills up and joy just flows out.
so there you have it.
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