remember when i said...

you know that feeling when you wake up and remember that it's saturday? this wave of relief and gratitude passes over your body and instead of getting up you lie there for a little while longer. just you and your thoughts in the dark of your room, with the tiniest amounts of light peeking in around your curtains.

i had one of those moments this morning. a kind of 'sigh, what a week, i'm so glad it's saturday' moment. and while i was lying in my warm, comfy bed - stretching out my toes and combing my fingers through my hair - i remembered this moment i had over the summer when i said to myself, or i believed someone else when they said it to me: 'at least things can't get much worse than this.'

but this week i learned that they can. they can get worse. when you think that life is done dealing out the difficult cards for you or your family, they keep coming. and i don't know why, and that isn't what i want to write about.

what i want to share this morning is how it seems like in the midst of the hard stuff i am coming to life. maybe the hard stuff is forcing me to feel and open my eyes and love and cry and be, and in the process i'm noticing things and tasting things and touching things and i can feel my heart beating in my chest.

last night i was walking from my school (in the longwood area, near fenway - if you're interested) to my friend's house. it took me about an hour, but it was a beautiful night and there were parts of boston to be walked through that i had yet to experience. and i noticed some things that are becoming endearing to me about this crazy new england city. so since that's such an amazing feat, i thought i would share them. because if my heart keeps getting broken by life, but somehow i am smiling and laughing and breathing in deeply and noticing trees and people and smells, then something must be going right.

so here, boston, my ode to you. things about boston that light me up inside:

i mean, i might as well start with the obvious. fall. fall! what can i say? the smell of leaves in the crisp air. red and orange and yellow and green against a background of brilliant blue skies. the warmth of the sun on your face, even when you have to stick your hands in your coat pockets because it's getting cold outside. have i mentioned that i'm obsessed with anything pumpkin flavored?

in the course of an hour: walking through northeastern university, quietly observing college students on halloween weekend in all their ridiculousness - wondering if i looked that silly when i was that age (and now feeling old). strolling beside the reflecting pool outside the beautiful christian science library as the sunset turns the sky all kinds of blue and orange and pink and the wind makes the water look like the surface of a lake before a storm. i had to stick my hand in the pool; it was too beautiful not to. wandering through the prudential center for the first time, down boylston street and over to newberry - just taking in all the people and imagining where they were hurrying off to. walking through the public garden and down charles street into beacon hill. the lights, the people, the trees, the night breeze. red brick buildings and cobblestoned streets. small shops and loud restaurants. and the purchase of a nice california cab sav to share with my friends.

seeing duck tours barreling down the street at all hours of the day. people in boston love them some duck tours.

the sunset reflecting on the glass windows of the hancock building and the 'pru' as people here call it. (i don't think i'm quite ready to jump on that bandwagon - i'll stick with the prudential)

cambridge. i love cambridge. i love crossing the river. i love the small cobblestoned streets and the brilliant minds. the shops and restaurants mixed in with historical buildings and old cemeteries that make up harvard square. the shady characters who hang around in central square (they only look shady; they're totally harmless dad). going to cambridge brewing company with my brother, or dragging my classmates to peets coffee and reminding them (again) that i moved here from california. julia child lived there!

it is a city made for walking. and i love walking. a + b = c.

not to mention, taking a walk and walking right through some of the most important places in america's history. no matter how you feel about america at the given moment, it is quite amazing to be in a place with so much history.

the north end. who doesn't love the north end? the food, the people, the ambiance. the old italian men playing bocce on saturday morning. the harbor and the city skyline in the background. the parks that finally allow bostonians to enjoy the labor of love that was the big dig!

i know this might sound crazy, and don't quote me on this come march, but i can't wait for snow! (but first, dear landlord: can you please turn the heat on in our building!?)

boston is a beautiful city. in it's own, unique way, yes. getting coffee at dunkin donuts is growing on me (slowly). i hope to see a red sox game next summer (when the cubs are here!!). i'm still not convinced i will stay here longer than i need to, but maybe i will enjoy myself much more than i expected.

and i mean, i have friends here who will watch hocus pocus with me on youtube in ten minute increments. that is something to celebrate.